Well this is going to be a long one....... I actually was in the middle of writing a post last Wednesday night when my water broke, the computer got left on the bed, the battery went dead and the submit button never got pushed. That was only the beginning!
After working in Rochester all day on Wednesday, I came home, watched super nanny, had a pb and j and then was doing some computer work when it occurred to me that I had either pissed the bed or something else was going on. After determining that I had not pissed the bed, Andy got home from work and we packed up our stuff and off we went. Got checked into the hospital just after midnight and spent a few hours walking around, watching some late night cable TV and had about enough at 3:00 am and went for the epidural (little did I know it would be one of four). Even though they give you the little button when you feel like you want more pain meds, by 8:00 a.m. I decided either the button didn't work or I was really going nuts. After some evaluation, they redid my epidural (which made for 3 attempts because the first try didn't get into the right spot). Spend the rest of the morning trying to rest and prepare for what was ahead. Amazingly I had been up since 5:00 a.m. on Wednesday but somehow the eyelids were still open.
By noon the midwife had decided it was time to start pushing-- for all of my girlfriends who didn't tell the real story about pushing- God will catch up with you someday. Although I wish I could explain some of the maneuvers that were involved with this process, lets just leave it at that I am no gymnast and this part just sucked overall. After about 2 hours of this nonsense, the midwife said that she had one more idea that she hasn't used in a long time- sitting on a commode. So in the nurse comes with a portable toilet. I think the idea was to just use it to make some progress but after about 2 minutes of this technique, I told her and Andy that I thought the head was out, and sure enough it was. Good deal you may think, but remember my legs don't work at this time so we went from 1 nurse and 1 midwife in the room to about 15 people in no time! So Kellen's story begins, he was born with his head in the toilet at 2:12 pm.
The rest of Thursday afternoon was spent in clean up mode (who goes to nursing school for 4 years to have do deal with that mess?). Both of our parents were able to join us by about 4:00 and although at the time I thought I had survived this all in one piece, when I look at the pictures from that day, clearly the drugs must have still been affecting my perception! Some friends from work stopped by and in hindsight I have come to realize they too are liars as they said I looked great and it couldn't be farther from the truth :)
Andy came home Thursday night to take care of Murphy and introduce him to a blanket we had wrapped Kellen in. Needless to say Murphy pissed on the blanket and has been pissed at us ever since.
Friday was filled visitors and the day flew by! All in all I was coming to terms with the fact that my body not only looked (but in fact felt) like it had been through hell and back. An innocent 4 year old friend asked why my belly still looked like there was a baby in there and I was wondering the exact same thing (still am).
Saturday we planned on coming home shortly after lunch but our stay got extended when I got a spinal headache from the epidural. What a joke-- lying flat in bed was the only option for most of the morning. I got a blood patch which involved getting another epidural and then drawing blood from my arm and putting it in the epidural to cover the other 3 holes in my spine. Not the most pleasant of processes but within about 5 minuites the headache was gone.
The rest of Saturday invovled getting checked out of the hospital (you might be able to get checked in there quick but getting out is no small task) and we got home around 4:30. Murphy really wasn't sure what to think and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening smelling, licking and just looking over his new roomate.
That is where we will leave the birthing process chapter of this story--- my girlfriends are all liars, I think people who do this au natural need an non-au natural examination of their heads becuase they have scientifically altered brains, and if Andy ever thinks of looking at me in any such way (drunk or not) that might lead to this same outcome the world will be minus one 30 year old man.
After working in Rochester all day on Wednesday, I came home, watched super nanny, had a pb and j and then was doing some computer work when it occurred to me that I had either pissed the bed or something else was going on. After determining that I had not pissed the bed, Andy got home from work and we packed up our stuff and off we went. Got checked into the hospital just after midnight and spent a few hours walking around, watching some late night cable TV and had about enough at 3:00 am and went for the epidural (little did I know it would be one of four). Even though they give you the little button when you feel like you want more pain meds, by 8:00 a.m. I decided either the button didn't work or I was really going nuts. After some evaluation, they redid my epidural (which made for 3 attempts because the first try didn't get into the right spot). Spend the rest of the morning trying to rest and prepare for what was ahead. Amazingly I had been up since 5:00 a.m. on Wednesday but somehow the eyelids were still open.
By noon the midwife had decided it was time to start pushing-- for all of my girlfriends who didn't tell the real story about pushing- God will catch up with you someday. Although I wish I could explain some of the maneuvers that were involved with this process, lets just leave it at that I am no gymnast and this part just sucked overall. After about 2 hours of this nonsense, the midwife said that she had one more idea that she hasn't used in a long time- sitting on a commode. So in the nurse comes with a portable toilet. I think the idea was to just use it to make some progress but after about 2 minutes of this technique, I told her and Andy that I thought the head was out, and sure enough it was. Good deal you may think, but remember my legs don't work at this time so we went from 1 nurse and 1 midwife in the room to about 15 people in no time! So Kellen's story begins, he was born with his head in the toilet at 2:12 pm.
The rest of Thursday afternoon was spent in clean up mode (who goes to nursing school for 4 years to have do deal with that mess?). Both of our parents were able to join us by about 4:00 and although at the time I thought I had survived this all in one piece, when I look at the pictures from that day, clearly the drugs must have still been affecting my perception! Some friends from work stopped by and in hindsight I have come to realize they too are liars as they said I looked great and it couldn't be farther from the truth :)
Andy came home Thursday night to take care of Murphy and introduce him to a blanket we had wrapped Kellen in. Needless to say Murphy pissed on the blanket and has been pissed at us ever since.
Friday was filled visitors and the day flew by! All in all I was coming to terms with the fact that my body not only looked (but in fact felt) like it had been through hell and back. An innocent 4 year old friend asked why my belly still looked like there was a baby in there and I was wondering the exact same thing (still am).
Saturday we planned on coming home shortly after lunch but our stay got extended when I got a spinal headache from the epidural. What a joke-- lying flat in bed was the only option for most of the morning. I got a blood patch which involved getting another epidural and then drawing blood from my arm and putting it in the epidural to cover the other 3 holes in my spine. Not the most pleasant of processes but within about 5 minuites the headache was gone.
The rest of Saturday invovled getting checked out of the hospital (you might be able to get checked in there quick but getting out is no small task) and we got home around 4:30. Murphy really wasn't sure what to think and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening smelling, licking and just looking over his new roomate.
That is where we will leave the birthing process chapter of this story--- my girlfriends are all liars, I think people who do this au natural need an non-au natural examination of their heads becuase they have scientifically altered brains, and if Andy ever thinks of looking at me in any such way (drunk or not) that might lead to this same outcome the world will be minus one 30 year old man.
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